If Cats Ruled The World

Does your kitty have you wrapped around her paws? If so, you’re not the only one. Cats do have a way of, well, bossing us around. In fact, they may be plotting world domination. There’s even a holiday dedicated to Fluffy’s bossiness: Cat World Domination Day! In this post, a local Burlington, ON veterinarian shares some advice for celebrating with Fluffy.

What Is Cat World Domination Day?

Cat World Domination Day is a celebration of cats, their larger-than-life purrsonalities, and our long-standing affinity with them. To go a little deeper into the holiday’s history, Cat World Domination Day was founded in 2012 by the humans who own the kitties of the sparklecat blog as a birthday gift. At least, it is the official story. Unofficially, this could be the date Fluffy decided to pursue World Domination. Of course, if Fluffy ever manages to take over the world, it will most likely evolve into something far more official.

Do Cats Actually Want to Dominate the World?

We honestly can’t provide any verification on this one. The previous three people who attempted to explore the topic disappeared under mysterious circumstances and were never seen again.

What Would Happen If Kitties Managed To Take Over the World?

We can provide a more informed response on this one, as our feline patients have clearly given us some insight into what to expect.

As best as we can ascertain, Fluffy’s formal demands would include the following:

No More Mondays 

In honor of Garfield, Mondays may be banned from the calendar. It would be replaced by the second Wednesday.

Kitty-Friendly Facilities 

Fluffy would definitely want to see stocked ponds and moats in front of every residence. This one isn’t as far-fetched as you would believe. Cats were so popular in ancient China that several communities did make fishponds for them.

Food/Water Stations for Stray Cats 

On a more serious side, there are millions of stray cats worldwide. With our feline overlords in charge, we’d like to see greater help and resources for homeless cats. This one is likewise grounded in fact. In Turkey, for example, stray cats are generally treated as communal pets, and valued not only for their adorable faces but also their prowess at pest control. Many companies keep food and water out for them, and it isn’t unusual to find Fluffy snoozing peacefully in shops or cafes.

New Building Codes

Does Fluffy have a bed and a comfortable window seat in each room, as well as at least one cat tower? Have you set up a kitten garden and at least one box castle? Do you have a built-in walkway and catio for your feline companion?  If this is the case, you will not need to make any big modifications. Otherwise, you may be obliged to undergo specific renovations.

Statues

You may definitely expect enormous feline monuments to appear in every town square. All streets and towns would likely be renamed after renowned cats. Given the scarcity of famous cats, every municipality would undoubtedly have multiple Garfield drives, avenues, roads, parkways, circles, courts, and lanes.

Catnip Gardens 

Another infrastructural development we should expect is the establishment of catnip gardens. Fluffy also enjoys spider plants and honeysuckle, so those would probably be included as well.

Is There Any Proof That Kitties Are Trying to Take Over the World?

We have not found any actual files or hard data on this one. However, there are certain historical references to consider.

First, there’s ancient Egypt. Fluffy persuaded the ancient Egyptians to regard her as a divinity. There’s even an Egyptian cat goddess, who is named Bastet. In fact, cats were so popular in ancient Egypt that when a family’s feline died, the humans shaved their brows to show their grief. The Sphinx is, of course, another excellent example of how highly valued (or perhaps feared) cats were in that civilization. (Clearly, cats have never forgotten this.)

Fluffy did not fare badly in ancient Siam, either. She was the preferred pet of many royal and noble families, and she was, of course, lavishly treated.

Kitties have also made their imprint on civilization in some less magnificent ways. Fluffy’s distinctive pawprints have been discovered on medieval manuscripts and in cement from ancient Roman structures!

We also need to consider the fact that Man’s Second Best Friend has been secretly preparing for this takeover for decades. Fluffy starts practicing the use of claws and teeth at a very early age, and usually tries to practice on us.

Kitties haven’t just been practicing martial arts, though. They’re also dedicated to learning computer programming, which they accomplish by sleeping on laptops and walking across keyboards. They have been reading a lot, which they do via osmosis, by sleeping on books. Our feline friends have also dabbled in a variety of vocations, such as espionage, retail, politics, and economics, to mention a few.

Last but not least, we must remember that these cute little pets are actually charming little serial killers. Every year, cats kill billions of little creatures. This is one reason we recommend keeping Fluffy inside. It’s not only better for her, it’s better for local wildlife.

What is the Cat Treatise?

The Cat Treatise, also known as the Tamra Meow or The Cat-Book of Poems, is one of the most compelling examples of cat world dominance. This is an ancient samut khoi manuscript, believed to have been authored by Buddhist monks between the 14th and 18th centuries. The book, as you might expect, is entirely about our feline pals.

How Can We Prevent Cat World Domination?

There are a few things we can do to keep cats from taking over the world. First and foremost? Make sure to have your feline companion fixed. Overpopulation is a major factor that contributes to the world’s high number of homeless cats. Kitties are also calmer and typically less aggressive after getting spayed or neutered, so there’s a good chance that Fluffy may just abandon her plans and decide to cuddle with you instead.

You’ll also need to keep your feline king content, healthy, and purring. Make it a habit to pick up a new toy or some treats for Fluffy whenever you go shopping! You might also try to please her by spending some extra time touching or playing with her.

What else can you do? Make sure your cat is safe and sound indoors. This will not only assist to prevent Fluffy’s intentions to take over the globe, but it will also keep her safe from things like cars, weather, predators, and parasites, as well as substantially lowering her chances of becoming lost, injured, or killed.

You may also wish to offer your adorable pet a special treat. Salmon, chicken, or fish are all acceptable, as long as the skin, bones, and fat are removed. Complimenting your pet, and telling her what a good kitty she is, may also mollify her.

Ask your Burlington, ON veterinarian for more advice on keeping your feline overlord happy and healthy.

Schedule An Appointment At Your Burlington, ON Veterinary Clinic

Has it been a while since your feline overlord arrived? Is Fluffy due for an exam? Contact your local Burlington, ON pet hospital at any time!